Time Well Spent

2 bikes cleaned and 2 sets of gears adjusted, although the Giant's being particularly troublesome on the rear mech: slacken the cable tension off and it won't shift up the block properly but tighten it up and it won't shift down. It's a touch annoying but I may have another go next weekend. I've also trued the Giant's rear wheel. It's not perfect (yet) but is better than it was.

The big win is the front mech on the Ventana which has been rubbing on the chain in the middle ring for what feels like an eternity, and despite me being a very angry person when it comes to less-than-nearly-perfect bike mechanics I've just not taken the time to fix it properly. I did it this morning, so I'm basking in the glow of satisfaction.

I have had a thought though. In my current frame of mind I think my ideal MTB is the one I've got but with a through axle rear end, a hub gear and a Hammerschmidt front setup, so 16 speeds with no mechs. This spec begs the questions a) Can you bolt through a hub gear, b) do you need a tensioner for a hub gear on an MTB? And the obstacles in the way of (this week's) cycling utopia are the small issues of not having a bolt through swingarm and not having ISCG mounts on my frame. Mech it is then. For now...

Easy? Easy? My God, What's Wrong With You?

Pretty nice ride round White Pike and Walna Scar.

I can tell you that Natty bridge is indeed natty, that White Pike is pretty impressive, the slate quarry contains a lot of slate and not very many exit points, and that the downhill from Goatfoot Crags, past Nettle Crag and towards Coniston is rocky but awesome. Everything else is a blur caused partly by stopping every few minutes to read a map and partly because we cocked up the route after Natty bridge and ended up following the sheep most of the way up and round White Pike, which is surprisingly boggy.

It turned out (when I checked the route that we did against the map, and route we had) that we did most of the route correctly but navigated too close to White Fell - where the hell is that lefthand trail? - and missed a right turn towards Torver, but that was on the downhill.

I would like to dispute the easiness of the route according to the Lancaster Bogtrotters. They must be hugely fit or we must be the opposite, because it felt like most of this route was uphill! And the trail was a frikkin nightmare to follow. Nevertheless it was a good ride and I earned my fish and chips. Oh yeah, and we saw a bird of prey too, although I don't know what sort.

H'ub G'ear

It's very close. I can feel it. I can actually feel it. It feels like a tingling that starts in my toes, creeping up and through my legs into my core. My ears strain for the sound of its imminent arrival. I look for it on the horizon. It's tantalisingly close...

CYCLE 2 WORK!!!

And therein lies the problem: what to get, WHAT TO GET? I definitely like the idea of a hub gear (2, 3, 5, 7, 8 or more?) for the maintenance-freeness of it all and I'm taken with belt drives this week, but the pansy in me also fancies more comfort than a Giant road bike affords me. And I like the speed of the road bike so don't really want to give that up to slacker angles and woolier steering. So I'm in a bit of a pickle.

Perhaps I'll go for the commuter-staple of a Bad Boy or perhaps a belt-driven District, or maybe a hub-geared iO. But then there's the leftfield, oddball choice of a Moulton.

I think I might need to book a few test rides...

Road To Ruin

Or, how to ruin a perfectly good road.

My main route to work was resurfaced a few weeks ago to a beautiful smooth, pothole- and patch-free work of art, but now the council have seen fit to highlight the cycle lanes with ridiculous green paint. They'd already put the markings down making the cycle lane distinct and visible so why the feck have they painted over their new road surface with an uneven and bumpy surface? It's not like drivers pay any more attention to cycle lanes if they're pretty colours. I think that it's a conspiracy to deter cyclists. Perhaps I should write to the Guardian. Or the Mail...

Boy Legs

I should think so really, what with being a boy and all. In fact, man legs I should hope! What I'm alluding to is that today's been the first day this year that I haven't felt the need to wear longs on my ride. Roll on summer! I'll be massively tanned by then, although probably only on my forearms, calves and face (except forehead) so I'll look suitably odd.

The morning ride in is still a bit chilly for bare flesh (ooh, perhaps I should get some legwarmers) but the afternoon/ evening ride home is perfect "just shorts" weather at the moment. I'm still layered up on the top but for me it's the legs that count.

On a slightly different note, I appear to be producing rather a lot of snot on my morning rides despite being free of a cold and not smoking. There's quite an art to clearing a nostril at speed without the contents ending up on your face or clothing. I've not mastered it completely.

What's Wrong With My Legs?

I've been cycling to work regularly now for over a month as well as going out most weekends for an off road jaunt, so why the hell are my legs still killing me and screaming in defiance at any incline? If getting fitter isn't one of the exciting benefits of a life of grinding physical strife day-in, day-out (over my enormous 5 mile commute...) then what's the bleedin' point? I'm already smug enough so smugging up on the carbon savings is hardly worth the bother.

Like A Caveman Being Given A Spaceship

Cracking ride round Kentmere, Green Quarter and Cocklaw Fell this morning.

The sun was(n't) shining, it was dry and we were prepared for a new chapter in my (and Dr G's as well really) MTB career: the more manly option of the non-trail centre. Not that I've never ridden off piste before, but I usually take the easy option of the trail centre, mainly down to the lucky coincidence of having lived very close to one trail centre or other in the past 6 years.

It really was a good morning's (and early afternoon's) riding and a day of firsts including the Dr's new bike and his new tights. I had to make do with the new trail.

We made good use of the map and some nattily laminated directions, thanks to the inspired use of child labour, while chatting a lot of the way round. Which was nice. All the while with the thought in the back of our minds of a big lunch of veg chilli (which was delivered as expected upon our return).

Details of the whole thing would be a tad dull I reckon, so highlights included:

• Dr G explaining to his new bike that it was likely to get dirty, "but it's okay".
• Hunched-over "old pervert style" bib-tight induced relieving of oneself.
• Inexplicably slow going over what appeared to be simply grass
• Me: "My rear hub's quite noisy when I'm not pedalling", Old Man, disapprovingly, "Mmmm, yes".
• A riveting discussion on which foot forward is best.
• The good Dr calling me gay for reasons I forget.
• Quickmud across the top of Cocklaw Fell, which the Doc - after avoiding my haphazard and slippy route - ended up sideways up to his elbow and knee in.

A thoroughly enjoyable session, lots of exercise and the reward of a nice Hawkshead lager at the end. Fantastic.

Carbon, Carbon Everywhere...

So, I've been thinking how much carbon I can claim to be offsetting (if such a thing makes a blind bit of difference to climate change, which incidentally I do believe in) in striving to my goal.

Put your maths head on.

Our Focus produces 140g/km. Our Cherokee produces 366g/km (!). I'll assume that I'd be driving the Jeep as that's the most likely scenario.

According to the Irish Times a cyclist at 16km/h produces 5g/km. My current average is 24km/h so let's double it to be sure, so 10g/km.

Therefore I'm saving 356g of CO2 for every kilometer I ride on my commute. Or roughly 5.5kg for each return journey.

It's all academic and pointless really because an internal combustion engine burns a fuel that captured carbon millions of years ago, while I burn fuel that captured carbon in the last few months (or years at a stretch). I.e. my expelled CO2 has been captured from the present day atmosphere so I'm not putting anything into the air that wasn't there very recently beforehand. And I still have to breathe when I'm sat in my car.

Sir! Yes Sir!

Normal event-free rides today. Pleasant enough.

Popped round to the (ex) boss's to help with a bicycle related mechanical problem which was less serious than I thought it'd be. What a nice surprise. It turned out to be a simple case of a crank bolt working loose and falling off. Yes I know, I too have no idea how you don't notice first a bolt coming loose, then your left crank arm attempting to make a break for freedom, but there you go. No excuses for him not to ride now though.

Unfortunately there was a slight problem this evening: on the way home I got smoked by some guy on a Rock Lobster 'cross bike. I was spinning along nicely at a decent pace and he overtook me on a slight uphill. I didn't even know he was there. How rude! I kept up with him about 50m back until I turned off the main road, but I was quite irritated if I'm honest.

Finally, I have been hankering after a Moulton. Roll on CTW scheme!